I go to a LOT of weddings – I think I have seen it all – so here are just a few of the things I have learnt along the way. I’ll talk you through a whole lot more in person:
Please be on time! If you arrive on time, everything will fall into place. You’ll have plenty time for your photos. You won’t have to rush. Your guests will be grateful -and the groom will be very happy. It’s his day too.
Never ever come down the aisle if you haven’t seen me first. Grab a tree, dig your heels in and wait. I am coming to meet you (but its more likely that you will find me waving my arms, waiting for your car – super excited)
Keep hold of your flowers, until you make your vows. Why? Because they are pretty – and you paid for them – and because it gives you something to do with your hands (if you are nervous, this helps a lot.)
Never ever let the driver pull your car up right in front of the ceremony. Make him pull over somewhere that you can get out of the car, meet me and calm your nerves. Get yourself together and grab a breath before show time – without everyone watching you.
Relax. The hardest part of the whole day is waiting for the bride to arrive, and walk the aisle. You might be nervous as hell, but you’ll feel like a brand new man, as soon as she does.
Let’s match up the buttons on your jackets. If you are buttoning, button the same ones. The top one – or both is best – but if you button only the last button, it gapes. (Yuk!)
Let’s stand a little less motley. Neat and tidy – but not stiff. Close to each other. No hands in pockets. It looks horrible.
Please, please, please girls, walk naturally down the aisle. There’s no need to walk one step, two steps together – it looks awful, and you will be busy thinking of your feet instead of smiling.
Look up! Smile as you come down the aisle – we want to see your faces. Also, if you hold your heads up, you won’t get a double chin in the photos.
Always make sure the parents take a seat at the front! When the father of the bride merges into the crowd, it is VERY hard for me to find him when it comes to the giving away!
If Mum and Dad are walking you down the aisle, tell the decorators or the venue to give you extra space between the chairs so you have plenty of room to walk 3 across.
Remember that little kids and ceremonies do not really mix. Kids are noisy. They don’t care what’s going on and they hate to stay still. I’m not saying don’t bring them. I’m saying, don’t expect things to be smooth sailing. It’s not their fault. They can’t help it.
The most likely scenario where children are involved is that whatever you think they will do – they won’t.
Never ever force a terrified, tantrum throwing or crying child down the aisle. Just tell their parents that you’ll get the photographer to take some cute photos of them later, instead. That’s all they really wanted, anyway.
Put all the rings in one box, or dish, or pillow – anything – but only one – or you’ll have the ring bearer fumbling around trying not to drop one box, as they open the other.
Don’t pass the rings to me – I haven’t got enough hands to hold them!
Put a little Vaseline on the underside of your rings to help them slide straight onto your fingers. Even if it fits perfectly, this will help.
Help each other! Do the wiggle on your left hand when you are receiving a ring – its easier to pick the right hand with a little helping hand.
Remember that your guests are exactly that – your guests. Treat them with respect. Be on time. Don’t keep them waiting.
If it’s hot, provide water for them – (at least) – to drink. Umbrellas are handy for shade. Or pick a tree to stand under. Don’t expect your guests to be happy standing in extreme temperatures – hot or cold.
If it’s raining, do not expect them to stand in the rain. They won’t thank you for it.
If you have a name that’s difficult to pronounce, that is different to the one you call yourself, please tell me what it is. I need to know what name you want me to use – and whether or not your parents are ok with it. (Just trust me on this one.)
EXPECT TO GET HUGGED – I can’t help myself!